Here’s a quick exercise: First, think about the individual donors you’ve worked with over the past year, take a deep breath, and be grateful for their willingness to support your organization. Think about all of them!

Now, as you thought through your list, I’ll bet some of the names prompted you to experience a calm, happy feeling. But in response to other names, you immediately felt stress. What’s the difference? They all made contributions, and some of the ones you feel negative about may be among your biggest donors over the past year.

Here’s part of the answer: Sometimes, the difference is between those who try to give as LITTLE as possible versus those who try to give as MUCH as possible, even when the value of their gifts is the same.

Two examples:

"Greg Grudging": The minute you show up to meet with this donor, they say something like, “Uh-oh. How much are you going to do me out of this time?” (You KNOW this guy!). What you hear the donor saying is: “It’s up to you to flatter and ‘sell’ me, and then maybe I will give just enough to preserve my status as a top donor to your organization.” In other words, it’s a power game. Although you might not mind a little cat-and-mouse, it doesn’t have much to do with thoughtful support of your organization. Afterward, you may feel irritated and a bit insulted.

"Hap and Joy Meaning": A couple in their 70s. They have been giving consistently to your organization’s annual fund for many years, at a fairly modest level, but since they retired, they’ve been giving bigger gifts occasionally – and not in response to a solicitation. When you call to schedule a time to talk with them, they are excited to hear from you. In the meeting, before you can really say much, they say, “We have been thinking about what we can do for your organization. We’ve already taken care of our family in our estate plan, and we have more money than we need. What can we do that will help your group the most?” What a great feeling!

Let's face it – when you add up the total giving of the Meanings – over 20+ years and through their planned legacy gifts – it’s often higher than Greg Grudging's bigger gifts over the 3 or 4 years he has felt the peer pressure to give. And the Meanings are so much more fun to work with!

It’s not that you can ignore Greg Grudging (and his need to see you grovel), but what you CAN do is try to find more donors who are like the Meanings. Look through your donor lists and set a goal of visiting several of those modest donors who have started giving more frequently.

Here’s to spending more time in 2025 with donors who LOVE your organization and want to give as much as possible!