You have an appointment to talk with your long-time donors Frank and Chris about making a special gift. You've done your research and you know they could make a $50,000 gift to this important project. From other gifts the donors have made, you feel sure this will be a perfect fit. Great work so far!

Five minutes into your meeting, one of them says, "We're going to save everyone some time and effort. We've decided to give $5000!" (THUD...) They may even hand you a check. How do you respond to this?

Don’t take it personally, but don’t just let it lie there.

First, know this: Most fundraising professionals and experienced volunteer leaders have encountered this situation. It happens pretty frequently. Don't take it personally.

But how you respond can make the difference between receiving a gift that's 90% below your plan and a gift that either meets your plan or gets much closer.

One approach

First, sincerely thank Frank and Chris for their $5000 gift - but not with maximum enthusiasm.

Second, continue to maintain eye contact and say, "Knowing your interest in [our overall issue or some aspect of our project], we had planned to ask you to consider a gift of $50,000. We were going to give you some exciting information about how our plans for [...] will make a difference, and in particular what a difference your $50,000 gift would make. Chris and Frank, when can we follow up with you to have that conversation?"

Then pause and wait for their answer.

They may look at each other, then back at you and say, "Sure, we can listen to your plans. We may not give any more, but we respect what you're doing and it won't hurt to hear more." [YESSSSS!!] In fact, they may say, "Why don't you go ahead, while we're all here?" and you will have the opportunity to inspire them to make a bigger gift right on the spot. A follow-up meeting to do that is also a win. Once they listen to your plans, you will more than likely get an additional gift from them, if not the full $50,000.

This is why you are there - to have the chance to engage them in the story of your organization's work and plans. You know what to do from here!

The brush-off and the follow-up

However, if they say, "That’s all we're going to give and we don't need to meet again", then you have two options. You can say, "We understand. We appreciate your gift, and we will get a confirmation out to you very soon. And we will keep in touch."

But a second option is to add to the above, "Chris and Frank, because your support is very important to us and we were expecting your gift to be quite a bit higher, could you help us understand your thinking? Is it the timing of the project?" (i.e., when would you be able to give more?)

Then LISTEN.

And if it's the timing, tell them you'd like to come back to them with a proposal to address the timing - perhaps for a pledge or a planned gift of some kind. Then schedule a meeting to do it.

If their smaller-than-expected gift offering is not about the timing, then you can say to Chris and Frank, “It would be so helpful if you could give us your thinking. Is there something about this project that doesn’t resonate with you?” You may learn about something that you can’t ultimately address, but after talking it through, they might realize they have good reasons for giving more.

The benefits of not just taking "no” for an answer

If your question about timing does not get a clear answer from the donors, you will have still accomplished something important: You will have let them know that an increased gift from them is very important to your organization, you care about their personal situation, and you want to help them figure out how to give more. After you leave, you can be sure they will talk about it and perhaps figure out a way to give more later. (All is not lost.)

Your attitude and your success

Your job is to help every donor give as much as they possibly can to your important work. But sometimes they face barriers you don't know about. With appreciation and respect, help them share what those barriers are, and in the process show your support for them as people and donors, along with the passion you both hold for your mission. It's all worth it.