Recently I had the pleasure of coaching someone as they launched a major donor program for their nonprofit.

This group wants new relationships with existing donors who might be capable of major giving but have never been asked (at least by this group), and with new donors whose interests seemed to be a great fit with the mission of the group, have major capacity to give, but have never given. The wonderful thing is that this nonprofit has lots of prospects for major giving. But they had never devoted resources to communicating with them, let alone cultivating them for a major gift.

After reviewing the results of their wealth screening reports, the first thing we worked on was the need for a customized approach and communications plan with every prospect.

In major gift fundraising, it’s not just a distinct strategy with each person, it’s also a different conversation with each one. And it’s real conversation, person-to-person in most cases, sometimes over many years as they make a series of gifts.

But in major gifts fundraising, conducted by people well-informed and enthusiastic about the nonprofit's work (that's you, right?), on average you only need about 3 or 4 prospects to result in a major gift. Combined with the size of major gifts - often 10x or more larger than your average gift - these personal approaches with plenty of conversation up front are well worth the investment of time.

So how DO you approach a major donor prospect? (Here’s the point at which you can let out all the breath you’ve been holding since we started discussing major donors!)

Here’s my recommendation: Treat them as you would treat someone you already respect but haven't yet met. That's all. And even though you will absolutely have looked at their wealth screening profile, as you approach them don’t make reference to anything you may have read there other than their profession or business affiliation, which anyone could know. (Certainly, you can mention the person who connected you to them, and ask how they know each other, if it’s not obvious.)

Ideally, you will first get connected to the prospect by someone on your board or another donor to your organization who already knows them.

A comfortable way to first approach the prospect can be by email (unless you know they don’t use email for some reason; then send a hand-written note to their mailing address) and to say, “[mutual acquaintance] Jody Smith thought you might like to learn more about what our group is doing in [issue area].” In this way Jody Smith can be helpful without the actual effort of introducing you (unless Jody wants to do so, which will be terrific.)

If the prospect doesn’t respond to your email or note within about 2 weeks, try a different mode of communication (like a phone message) and say the same thing but with slightly more detail.

What about first contacting them through social media? I don't recommend it, even though there might be exceptions where it's ok. In general, personal approaches through social media may be viewed as suspect when the person you want to reach doesn't know you. Connections through something like LinkedIn can work, but even then, a direct email will usually get more attention.

Remember: It’s all about how your group makes a difference in the world, and whether the prospect might find it meaningful to support that work (or support it at a higher level than they have been).

In cases where you have a personal referral, you will ultimately get a response from about half of the new prospects you identify and reach out to. Not all of the responses will be positive, but many will be at least tentatively inviting, and you can eventually talk with them personally.

And once you have arranged a time to speak with them or meet, remember this: Don't practice your words - be real. On your part, there should be no memorized speeches about your nonprofit, no special formulaic phrases, and no gushing flattery (or flattery at all). Let your enthusiasm about your group show, but ask good questions and be a good listener. Don't be impatient to get to "the ask" - it may take several conversations to get there.

I plan to address more topics in major gifts fundraising in the months ahead. If you have questions you hope I will address, please let me know at diannasmileyllc@gmail.com.