Let’s say you are a nonprofit board member preparing for a meeting with a donor. You will be accompanied by your teammate – an executive or staff member from the nonprofit.

In an earlier post, I urged you to prepare for these meetings by developing a few personal stories that convey the difference your group makes through their mission.

Beyond telling your story, how can you add value to the conversation and help the donor feel great about considering a personally significant gift to your group?

Active listening is another contribution you can make.

Sometimes feeling nervous makes people talk too much; or we might clam up. How can we focus AWAY from the nervousness, and TOWARDS the donor and what she or he would like to discuss about your group?

Here’s the key: you and your teammate can help the donor explore their own meaningful experiences with your group, and talk about your group’s value to them, and to the community.

You may say, “How do we get at this? How do we know what the donor wants to talk about?”

As part of a longer conversation, you can pose open-ended questions. Here are some examples:

1. How did you first get involved with [our organization]?

2. You’ve given [every year for a long time]. What keeps you giving?

3. Have your reasons for giving to [our organization] changed over the years? If so, how?

4. What are you trying to accomplish through your giving to [this organization]?

5. If you were able to give more to [this organization] than you have been giving, what would you like to see your gift accomplish?

You and your teammate can decide ahead of the meeting who will ask which of the questions. And right after the meeting is over, sit down alone or with your teammate and record the donor’s answers. Otherwise, the more time passes following the meeting, the more you will forget.

Their answers contain the information you need: Why this donor supports your group, what they value most about what your group does, and what might motivate them to give more.

The type of meeting I have described in this post is a cultivation meeting (for an ask at a future meeting). However, active listening can also be part of a stewardship meeting to thank the donor and better understand why they just made the gift they made.

What else do you need to know how to do in a meeting with a donor about their giving? Well, you need to understand how the ask for a gift is made, even if you are the supporting teammate, not the asker. Next month I will share some ideas for how gift solicitations can go smoothly and with great results.