In my work with capital campaign teams, I see and hear a lot of anxiety when we start discussing donors who could make a $1,000,000 or higher gift to the campaign.

Most nonprofits never receive a million dollar plus gift and many fundraising professionals and EDs never ask for one. So we have good reason to think carefully about this topic and to plan even more carefully.

Let’s mix it up by inverting your perspective. We'll think about the gift from the donor’s perspective.

Imagine that YOU are the donor - a single person in your 70s - and you have the wealth to make a gift of $1 million to a favorite nonprofit group. This group is working on a cause that touches your heart and engages your brain strategically.

Let’s say you agreed to meet with the group’s development director and one of their Board members. In the meeting, you learned all about the capital campaign they’re planning. The group will need to raise $5 million to build the facility they need for their mission. You are excited about their plans and agree that the new facility will be a game-changer for them. You agree to meet with them again to hear more.

In a second meeting, the development director mentioned that they hoped you would consider a gift of $1 million to the campaign. You didn’t say much, but promised you would think about it. You know you COULD make the gift, but it’s a lot of money and you’ve never made a philanthropic gift that large. You don’t feel comfortable saying yes or no, yet.

After the meeting, when you think about the possibility of making a large gift to this group, it feels very meaningful to you. It would be exciting to be able to make a big impact on this project. Just think - YOUR participation can give them a confidence-building gift early in the project – what a great feeling!

You talk with your attorney and financial advisor just to make sure your interests will be addressed in the gift, and then you talk with your closest family members. Your advisors assure you that you have the funds to do that without upsetting your retirement and estate plans, and your attorney offers to review any gift agreement you might be asked to sign, before you sign it. Your advisors are all neutral to positive about the prospect of you making the gift, and no one brings up any red or even yellow flags.

Most of your family members are happy that you are happy about this possibility. They tell you to do what you think will make a difference. One of your children expresses concern, and you address their concern in ways that quickly calm their fears.

However, before you have completed all these conversations (which takes you about 6 weeks), the development director gets back to you, hoping to schedule another meeting with you. She asks for a specific date, but you have other plans then and also you want to give yourself enough time to complete your check-in conversations. So you say, “Could we push it out a few more weeks?” They say “Yes, of course. But are there any other questions we could answer for you in the meantime?”

As a compassionate (!) and transparent person, you say, “Well, I may have more questions but I wanted to be sure to check with some of my family and advisors before committing to a gift. Those conversations will probably take a few more weeks to complete.”

And then, because you really are very excited about the project and making the gift, you add, “I feel sure I will be supporting this project. I’m very excited about it, but I just want to have all my ducks in a row.”

Eight weeks later (stuff happens…!), you meet again with the nonprofit group and you tell them, “I’m excited to be part of your project. I intend to make a $1 million gift to the campaign, and I hope it will inspire others to give as well.”

Clearly this donor (you!) wanted to be very conscientious about making the gift, and wasn’t going to mislead the nonprofit reps too early in the process. You had a number of due diligence steps to take, and you stuck with your plan of taking those steps.

Most of our lead donors undertake some version of this due diligence when working with us, and it’s one of the distinguishing elements of raising major gifts.

I hope this illustration, with YOU in the donor’s situation, helps you stay calm and focused when you are planning to invite someone to make a $1 million gift. Understanding what the donor may be doing and thinking about in and between your meetings helps you have the patience and tenacity to support your donor to a large and meaningful gift.

Even a million dollars!