Most groups occasionally get gifts in memory of someone who has recently died. The donor is making a meaningful gesture that involves honoring someone they loved or admired (or both), and giving to your group. The amount of the gift is not usually large, unless the donor is already a major donor to your group and decides to dedicate this particular gift to memorializing the person who recently passed away.

How do you respond when your group gets a gift "in memory of"? Wait - it's very important! Does that surprise you?

OK, let's admit it. Most nonprofits don't pay much attention when they receive one of these gifts (or even many of these gifts). Why should you acknowledge it any differently than you would acknowledge a similar-sized gift that's NOT a gift in memory of..?

Here's what I heard recently from a donor whose friend died back in July. He wrote a $500 check to an organization he has been supporting, originally at the invitation of his friend who died. She and her husband had been major donors to this group for many years. On the memo line of the check, he wrote "In memory of [friend's name]".

A few weeks later, he got a form letter, electronically signed, thanking him for his gift of $500, but did not mention that his gift had been to honor his friend. This donor said to me, "How do I even know they realized the gift was to honor [my friend]?"

Although this donor still supports the group because of their mission, he's left with an impression of either incompetence or "they don't care" on the part of the Development staff. His enthusiasm for this group has diminished.

How could this group have done a better job of responding? First, it may just be an administrative task. If you get a gift by check in the mail, someone may see those checks and can spot the ones that have an "In memory of..." note on them. If no live person looks at the checks or the messages from the envelopes, you should revise your protocols to catch these messages in some way. If you don't, your group's reputation and the enthusiasm donors have for your group will be diminished.

Some groups have set up message boxes in their online giving platform so that donors can make a credit card gift "In memory of..." This is a good thing to do, but what happens after the donor leaves that message, along with their credit card number?

Does your group send a special message that includes the words, "Thank you for your gift in memory of [name]"? That's really all it takes. But if that second step is missed, a donor relations opportunity is squandered and your group’s reputation could suffer.

Also, be sure that your donor management software is "informed" every time this happens as well. In that donor's record, there should be a notation, "Made gift in memory of [name]." That information is important in its own right, but it can also be helpful for you as the development professional to mention that in meeting with or calling the donor. Let them know you noticed their thoughtful gift in memory of their friend or loved one. It's meaningful to them and it should be meaningful to you and noticed by your organization.

Remembering and memorializing someone after their passing is meaningful to the donor and we need to acknowledge it. Make sure your organization is making this happen.