If you are taking on a role that requires you to meet with donors to ask for a gift, it can be very helpful to consider what the donor may be thinking in these meetings.

Let’s say you are an executive director new to fundraising, or you're a professional fundraiser new to major gifts fundraising. Perhaps you are joining a board known to be a fundraising Board (good for them and good for you!), or you are joining a Capital Campaign committee.

In an "ask" meeting, how can you anticipate what may be passing through the donor’s mind?

In my experience (and from what donors have told me), here are the kinds of thoughts they may be having:

How much do I admire/ like this organization/ what they do?
How much do I feel indebted to this organization for what they’ve done for me or loved ones?
How important is this cause to me, in the scheme of things?
How much do I WANT to give?
How much CAN I give to this group, given my other commitments?
How can I best include my family in this decision (spouse, partner, children, etc.)?
Would a gift of the size I can give make a difference in the work of this group?
If my gift would make a difference, how does it compare to what other groups I like could do with my money?
Do I see myself as a major supporter of theirs?
Will they treat me/ my gift the way I’d like to be treated? (How have they treated me so far? How have I seen them treat others after a major gift?)
WHEN can I give this gift? (When will my funds be available?)
How much am I willing to commit, before I’m able to give?
How much of my thought process should I share with these nice people?

I’m sure you can add to the list above. And while no one donor (or donor couple) will have all these questions in mind when you meet, they will certainly be considering some of them.

Make sure the donor has time in the meeting to process their thoughts. Invite them to vocalize their questions and concerns if they want to do so.

Considering all these thoughts and questions ahead of the meeting will help you in several ways:

It will help you relax when you realize it’s not about you;
It will help you address some of their (suspected but as yet unstated) concerns in your own comments around the ask;
It will give you more empathy for the donor and help you listen to their concerns;
It will give you more perspective to interpret their answer to your ask, and the confidence to follow up with more discussion about what would help them commit to the gift.

Good luck out there, and remember – keep listening!