In Part 1 of this topic, we talked about timing, the research you need to review about the donor and their giving, and the importance of making your own gift or pledge first, before you go on calls to help ask others. Now we get to an aspect of asking for a gift that is a blend of science and art (and heart): knowing how much to ask for.

How much to ask for

Whether this gift is for the annual fund or for a capital campaign, listen to the donor. Through their conversation about other gifts they’ve made or what they like to accomplish with their giving, they may give you indications of the amount you should ask for. Before and after your first meeting with the donor, you and your teammate should discuss the donor’s enthusiasm level, what they said and begin discussing the amount to ask for. By your second meeting with the donor, you should be comfortable that an ask will be welcomed, and know how much (or at least a range) you want to ask for.

No magic formula, just rules of thumb.

Many experienced fundraisers have a rule of thumb about the first ask to a donor for a major gift. There is no “correct” formula here, but rather a blend of

the donor’s enthusiasm level and what the donor has said to you or others on your team (this is why good notes are important),
your knowledge of their giving to date (to your group and to others), and
the specific needs (and opportunities) of your organization.

All the above being said, however, for special major gifts from annual donors, in my view, your ask can be at least 10x what the donor has given on an annual basis in the past. If the donor has not been giving annually, but has given sporadic gifts in the last 2 – 3 years, then aim for at least 3 to 5x of the highest gift.

Is wealth screening helpful?

If your organization has access to a wealth screening service (data mining), by all means the staff should take advantage of it, but often the donor’s wealth profile is less important than the other factors I’ve mentioned above.

Something to remember: First-time donors to your group don’t usually make major gifts.

Even if the donor is very wealthy, if they have never given to your group in the past, ask yourself why they would start with a major gift. It happens occasionally but rarely. Your time may be well spent in meeting with them, but it’s probably in everyone’s interest if they start with a modest gift (in their terms, which may not be modest to you) to see how it goes.

Is it a problem if your team asks them for too much?

If it’s hugely too much, the donor may question your judgment (and whether you’ve looked at their giving record), and could be discouraged from making a gift at all. But otherwise, my answer is no; almost never, so don’t worry about it. Here's why: Asking for their help with an important new initiative or project is a compliment to the donor. If they want to help, they will feel like they are already part of your team. It’s up to them to tell you what they are able to do.

Besides, sometimes asking for a higher number than the donor had in mind can result in a bigger gift than they would have given otherwise, even if it’s not as high as you asked. You may never know this, but occasionally they will tell you after the fact. That’s a great feeling. You inspired them and helped them stretch!

What if you ask for too little?

On the other hand, if you ask for too little, the donor will rarely tell you that either. So even though you left funds on the table, you may only have a sneaking suspicion that it happened. One clue can be that the donor agrees immediately to give the amount you asked for, but doesn’t seem that pleased about the gift. Occasionally, if they feel comfortable with you, a donor will say something like, “I’d be happy to give what you asked, but I’m wondering if we could add something to that amount in order to do more?” If that happens, just thank them, smile, and say, “What did you have in mind?”

Also, the donor may ask for more time to be able to make the larger gift. If it works for your group’s needs, you can even suggest it yourself. But it’s best to suggest it only if the donor indicates they have a timing issue.

Sometimes a donor will pre-empt the ask and offer to give an amount that is a lot smaller than you anticipated. If this happens, thank them graciously. You might say something like, “Well, that will be wonderful. Would you consider making a pledge to do that much more in the next year or two (or three)?” They can say no, but you will have let them know you hoped they could do more. (Those who pre-empt your ask are usually, if not always, trying to “wiggle out of” what they think will be expected of them. They simply don’t want to give that much. A distinct lack of enthusiasm can be suspected here, not necessarily the lack of resources. Don’t blame yourself.)

In my years of major gift fundraising, I occasionally got to work with donors who believed wholeheartedly in the importance of what my group was doing, and had the capability to give at a high level. There was no need to “twist arms”, play games, or negotiate – they just wanted to help. Asking them to consider a gift was always a delight.

In closing, as a board member or key volunteer laboring to help attract major gifts, here’s what I wish for you:

… that at least one donor will someday say to you, “How much do you need from me? Just tell me – I’m there.”